thurs

Grateful that

- made a decision re health that i will do at earliest (in)convenience
- progress that has been made re move
- things submitted
- dreamt about the Bad Man again and grateful i don't have/need that nonsense in my life anymore
- the logistical nightmares (including a constantly failing septic) that we will leave behind when we move in less than a week
- sense of having made progresss in life re writing pursuits, etc
- whatever of health i actualLY DO possess (not so sure anymore)

things

- further teacher draft (if possible; if it doesn't happen, oh well, am still doing the cats/tornado thing) oct 30
- begin Glamoiur draft (once again, if possible, have not 'felt' this theme, really) nov 1
 - cancel wp
- dl
- donations
- draft ma blog

moving list

get boxes from pod/storage
build boxes as appropriate
take trash to truck
take food things down to wash

order of things

1. off walls & move dwst
2. alcove area 

- pack all up
- undo wire shelves
- toss the unneeded

- move/rearrange standalone stuff & clear out of area

1.  by JH area pack all up

- put art supplies away
- stuff behind wall
-put all in milk crate
2. art studio go pack up & bring to garage
3. move filled boxes dwst as appropriate/possible
4. clothes in bags etc
5. dry good pantry
6. dry goods in garage (box & out of there)
7. AA art project: box few ones that didn't 
8. books (c. 20 boxes)
9. box up AA desk area
10. box up jh desk area
11. clean out fridge

- by me
- by jh
- by back
12. furniture etc of ours
- ladders

- coffeetable

- 3 little shelves

- pill stand

- weights, exercise, etc

- aa desk

- jh desk

- wire shelving

- standalone shelves (aa, alcove, jh)

- 2 wood stoools

- 3 chairs

- 1 folding chair

- 2 office chairs

- jh night stand 3 legged thing

- 2 our nighstands

- giraffe

- 2 fans

13. technology and boxes 

14. wash last clothes

15. last stuff boxes

Tuesday 10.25

been gone! for one whole day couldn't log on here and then got sick then busy etc etc

we also had a blackout where the lights were off for close to 24 hours cumulatively, which was intretesting

and of course general busyness

GRATEFUL THAT

- in spite of my beliefs i was not badly sick and if i did have cold/flu it was the shortest cold/flu in the history of life, lasting less than 24 hours
- having the sweet kitty around for as long as we have him
- new town :D
- i think i have been feeling better past 2 days off malaise that has afflicted me in summer
- a new income opp/gift
- having talked to the lady who bought art from us in the past and how she's ready to see some more
- having got paid to do more colouring pages
- seeing J again and the house, that was lovely, i hope we have further opp to
- pretty fall this time of year
- walks, when i can
- that I go to say 'goodbye' to things that needed to be said goodbye to, in this house, things i've been dragging around for YEARS
- that new neighbour is happy re our going there
- TO BE IN OWN HOUSE AGAIN! What a big deal
- health of family, etc
- mother liked the gift
- feeling mroe focues and with it than last week

TO DO

the main thing today is pack but i need to plan it our or else it will flounder

so, general list

sub AA haloween thing (afte last drraft)
clean up a JH Dkos thing
one TF sub
clean email 1 hour
change dental appt
check balance
draft teacher essay AA very small


moving list

get boxes from pod
build boxes as appropriate
take trash to truck
take food things down to wash

order of things

1. off walls & move dwst
2. alcove area 

- pack all up
- undo wire shelves
- toss the unneeded

- move/rearrange standalone stuff

1.  by JH area pack all up

- put art supplies away
- stuff behind wall
-put all in milk crate
2. art studio go pack up & bring to garage
3. move filled boxes dwst as appropriate/possible
4. clothes in bags etc
5. dry good pantry
6. dry goods in garage (box & out of there)
7. AA art project: box few ones that didn't 
8. books (c. 20 boxes)
9. box up AA desk area
10. box up jh desk area
11. clean out fridge

- by me
- by jh
- by back
12. furniture etc of ours
- ladders

- coffeetable

- 3 little shelves

- pill stand

- weights, exercise, etc

- aa desk

- jh desk

- wire shelving

- standalone shelves (aa, alcove, jh)

- 2 wood stoools

- 3 chairs

- 1 folding chair

- 2 office chairs

- jh night stand 3 legged thing

- 2 our nighstands

- giraffe

- 2 fans

13. technology and boxes 

14. wash last clothes

15. last stuff boxes

REFLECTIONS: 10 day stretch between this and last post!  Didn't fee like 10 days! 2 more kid ailments made time fly.  Enough with fevers and garbage... bleh!  Looking forward to Spring when no one catches anymore colds!  My goals, and "me" have been a pretty low priority.  I started a bit last week returning to prioritizing what things make me tick and make me feel good.

I burned my hand this morning.  Poured boiling hot water on it.  I'm in a lot of pain and my first thought was, how is this going to get in the way of my week?  How is this going to keep me from achieving my goals??? How is this going to hold me back??  I hate pain from burns and this one is pretty bad... it's the entire top surface of my left fingers... it's throbbing.  I think if I can stay focused, and not fall into the excuse making mentality I always seem to fall into, I will get through this.  

So I finished one of my 2016 goals this past weekend!  I ran the 5K!  It went well!  It was a fun run so it wasn't times but I still got it done!! :) 

Things I will do differently this week:  I don't really need to change anything below.  I'm still working towards these things. 

This week, I'm just focusing on being present and making the right choices for myself in each moment.  I don't need to write out a long list of do's and don'ts or have some list of things to live by.... I know what those are.  I just need to take each choice in the moment, as it comes and do the right thing. 

GRATITUDES:

-I am so grateful for my strong and healthy body- I am free of chronic ailments and serious disease
-I am so very grateful for the home I have- so many people don't even have something as simple as a home- shelter, a place to sleep, away from the elements
-I am so very grateful to be able to watch the sunrise while I reflect about life this morning instead of having to run off to an 8-6 job that rules my life
-I am so very grateful for my dedication and determination when it comes to accomplishing my goals!
-I am so very grateful that I have some incredibly motivating and cool people in my life! 

WHAT I'M DOING TODAY TO WIN AT LIFE: 

Daily Non-Negotiables 
-take supplements
-stretch and meditate 

-30 minute 21 Day Fix workout 

-use meal plan tracker

-shower/look beautiful/wear one piece of jewelry

New/Carry-Over To Do Today

-mail
-bills
-organize desk

-hang up picture in back room
-print out lyrics
-split out harmonies for Thursday
-vocal rehearsal

-do something creative
-start clearing out the gym again
-hang up shelf in office 

-clean the picture frames and put some pics in and possibly hang up
-start floating out ideas for promoting benefit show- 6 emails between now and the show
-make one or 2 more promo videos? if time allows

GOALS FOR THE REST OF 2016:

-Run 5K:   I actually did it! It wasn't fast, nor was it timed, but I did it!! 

-Size 4 or 125: Not on target for this by try try again! 

-Put on another phenomenal charity event: Have lots of work to do still! 

-Make a vision board: Need to get ink for my printer got it! Now need to do it! 

-Figure out a work situation that works for me AND pays! Meh... 

-Throw my kids an art birthday party: Need to make a decision about this...  

-Host a killer Thanksgiving: Stated watching on streaming food network, thanksgiving recipes- jotted them down in the notes section of my phone.  

-Wake up between 4:30-6:00 a.m. every week day-  I'm waking up more days before 6:00 than I had in the past, so that's good! 

TUEsday (for oct 19th)

for some reason this had stayed in draft mode from last week

pretty useless day yesterday, not to put too fine a point on it. I slept a lot for some reason but i don't question that because I've not been feeling 100% for a while now, all summer, probably. Not even worth being annoyed at failing at tasks, goals, etc so spectacularly again, really. It is what it is. The way things are now everything is a hoped for and there's no worth putting emotional energy in its achievement because clearly the energy/drive/force required to make things happen is ABSENT, whether that's bc of my permanent personal failings, or outside circumstances, it doesn't matter. Maybe one day it will be better, maybe someday I'll find what I'm missing, even if it's just drugs haha. But for now I am surrendering attachment to what i can or cannot achieve because at the end of the day it clearly doesn't make anything better at all and does not address the fact that i am seriously missing something. It would make more sense to find out what i am missing so i can function at a more optimal level than to expect that i can do more than i can.

anyhooo, same old stuff:

potato juice
food
paypal button projectDL today
10 dwgs: comit to ONLY 3

If time: 
test paypal buttons
paypal for fb
4 octo (push to groups)
DL for week
- formatting
- opps
- links
clean up shelf area by JH
collect more art sub places (in post)
pc update
DIH for week
other art
see this - https://buffer.com/journey

grateful for
felt better this morning 
potato juice made me feel good

MOnday

1. The main thing to be grateful about is, my stepdad's health crisis was averted!! Thru some miracle his artery was messed up and he had found a way to, unbeknownst to him, have a physical the day before he would've probalby had a terrible heart attack or heart damage. There was no blood going to the heart muscle.
so yea, somehow he made an opportune dr's appointment and the rest is history.
very glad about that
2. nice moonlight last nite
3. felt good yesterday and this morning
4. even though it's probably a terible thing for the viability of human life, i am grateful that it's still unseasonably warm bc i pretty much dislike being cold
5. still getting up in AM early even if now am doing that weird thing where i go back to bed around 8 and don't get up agin till 10am (why? simply bc i don't go to bed early enough, of course)
6. i submitted a bunch of stuff over the weekend after all even though at one pt was feeling very NOT on top of it
7. got another drawing commission :D Thanks Lashae :D :D
8. going to a meetup weds which is always fun and new, as well as finalize moving process
9. new $$ opp for Le Jimbo
10. coming to terms with past mistakes in healthy way

To DO

call bloke no need to anymore
DL today
10 dwgs ONLY 3

If time: 
4 octo (push to groups)
DL for week
- formatting
- opps
- links
clean up shelf area by JH
collect more art sub places (in post)
pc update

Art subs

spent this weekend readying and submitting art to various magazines. Non paying but just wanted the experience

one left for tomorrow: stonecoast review

good articles on how to have useful art statements: http://bmoreart.com/2009/04/best-professional-practices-for-artists-2.html

http://www.gyst-ink.com/artist-statement-guidelines/

also, apparently this is a good submission tracker, so far using SUBMITTABLE and excel sheet but this might be good: http://spacejock.com/Sonar3.html

- emailed woman, write her back

- sugard water https://sugaredwatermagazine.wordpress.com/submission-guidelines/ ONLY ONE MORE DAY till april

in general - https://www.submishmash.com/tagged/visual-art

also - https://www.freedomwithwriting.com/freedom/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/The-Freelance-Writers-Success-Formula-%E2%80%93%E2%80%93-Final.pdf

Silk Road art submissions https://silkroadreview.submittable.com/submit/44524/artwork

Please send up to 5 images of your original artwork in one document as a .jpeg, .png, or .pdf. We are not accepting audio or video at this time. 

Track 4 'women of colour' If you would like to donate to TRACK//FOUR, please submit here. All funds will be used to fund the website and the Submittable. Funds will also be used to fund the 2017 TRACK//FOUR Prizes, which will open on October 1 and close on December 1.  Please submit all work in one document. If you are submitting in multiple categories, please send work in different submissions - i.e., one submission for prose, one submission for poetry, etc.    https://trackfour.submittable.com/submit

Long Time No Write!

REFLECTIONS: It's been weeks since my last blog post and I realized I never published my last one!  I notice such a difference in my life when I take time for reflection and gratitude.

I feel such a drive to keep reinventing myself and revamping my life.  Sometimes I think that's a poor quality- just settle on something already.  Stop changing things around! But actually- I think it's a really great quality.  I won't give up on the life I want until it is exactly how I hoped it would be.

And what am I hoping for?  What's missing?  A little more daily joy.  Doing things that make me joyous.  Filling my cup.  And that's my focus for the rest of 2016.  Maybe even figuring out what exactly does fill my cup!

The election, the state of our country... I'm just dying inside.  It's so hard to focus when I'm so distracted by this.  I feel like I need to do something but I don't know what I could be doing... other than speaking up and trying to get people to be less racist, and gross... beyond that... I don't know.  

Things I will do differently this week:  I don't really need to change anything below.  I'm still working towards these things. 

Create and follow a schedule- (update: printed calendars and started updating) 

Be prepared for the day, before my family wakes up (update: hasn't happened yet) 

Take all of my supplements (update: keep forgetting)

Focus on 4 meals, 100 grams of protein and lots of nutrition veggies (have a commitment buddy!) 

Exercise daily (update: been doing great with daily exercise) 

Do fun (hopefully free) activities with my daughter while my son is at school(have one planned) 

Get out and do 2 things for myself that are fulfilling both spiritually and emotionally - things that bring JOY
 (I need to make this a daily thing) 

GRATITUDES:

-I am so grateful for the community of amazing women I am surrounded by.  They are so supportive and cool.

-I am so grateful that I can design my life exactly how I want to live it

-I am so grateful that I can always seem to muster up a flurry of hope even when I can't quite find the motivation

-I am so grateful for my cute husband

-I am so grateful that my kids LOVE each other SO MUCH

-I am so grateful that my friends are encouraging me to get out an play music more!

WHAT I'M DOING TODAY TO WIN AT LIFE: I'm not doing much right now to "win" at life.  I've been kind of just doing the minimum every day to get by.  It's such a low place to be.  I don't feel bad or depressed... I'm just no vibrating very high.  

Daily Non-Negotiables 
-take supplements
-stretch and meditate 

-30 minute 21 Day Fix workout  or 5K prep

-use meal plan tracker

-is this 5K prep day?
-shower/look beautiful/wear one piece of jewelry

New/Carry-Over To Do Today
I've done a ton on my last here.  Need to rewrite and add the new stuff in tomorrow's post.

-organize the desk
-organize my work stuff
-organize my yoga stuff

-check in on CRCD balance and pay off

-review finances 

-mail out S4S benefit cards

-make a weekly schedule again
-do monthly calendars for October, November, December  

-do something creative
-deep clean bedrooms, vacuum behind beds, under the furniture and clean the baseboard heater
-get laundry away
-clean and put back Teeny Tiny's carpet
-change sheets on the beds
-finish cleaning the bathroom
-start decorating the downstair playroom
-start clearing out the gym again
-hang up shelf in office 

*Bonus- clean the picture frames and put some pics in and possibly hang up

GOALS FOR THE REST OF 2016:

-Run 5K: Comments: OMG- this is next week... I better at least try to run.  

-Size 4 or 125: I'm back on target for this. 

-Put on another phenomenal charity event: Coming along!

-Make a vision board: Need to get ink for my printer

-Figure out a work situation that works for me AND pays! I got a raise and I am still working on it  

-Throw my kids an art birthday party: Need to make a decision about this...  

-Host a killer Thanksgiving: Stated watching on streaming food network, thanksgiving recipes- jotted them down in the notes section of my phone.  

-Wake up between 4:30-6:00 a.m. every week day-  I wish I could make this a habit...